I'm not sure how the specifics of your confusion matrix can help, but as far as I know, there is no general way of mapping dissimilarity functions (or matrices) to metrics (which is, probably, a bit more general than what you're asking). There are, however, empirically quite useful ways of doing so.
For example, you may wish to retain the dissimilarity ordering, so that objects/points ordered by distance from a reference point will retain their ordering under the new dissimilarity/distance. This is possible.
In your weighted directed graphs question, you've had the symmetry question answered (e.g., take the minimum of both directions; sum or average will also work). Non-negativity can easily be fixed by shifting all distances by the same constant. Positive-definiteness (i.e., $d(x,y)=0$ iff $x=y$), can be fixed (if it matters) as long as there is a minimum distance between non-identical objects. (For a finite matrix, you should be able to fix this anyway, by shifting by a positive $varepsilon$ and setting the diagonal to zero, or the like.)
The main challenge is enforcing triangularity, and this can be done by composing your function (or, in your case, matrix) with a strictly increasing, concave function $f$ for which $f(0)=0$.
It should be obvious that such a function will not change the dissimilarity ordering (given that your measure of dissimilarity is already non-negative). What it will do, however, is magnify the smaller dissimilarities more than the larger ones, moving the measure in the direction of triangularity. It's only a matter of finding a function that is "concave enough."
An example of such a function would be $f(x) = x^frac{1}{1+w}$. Now it's just a matter of choosing a large enough $w$, and you can find that by bisection, for example. (For more details on this approach, see the paper on the subject by Tomáš Skopal.)
As I said, this doesn't really address the specific properties of your matrix, but deals with the general problem. Maybe there are better solutions in your case; I don't know.
By the way, a few years ago, I had a student working on the problem of making substitution weight matrices for string edit distance metric—also quite similar to what you're asking. He explored several algorithms, and his Master's thesis ("Making substitution matrices metric") is is available online.